I read your whole post and really enjoyed it.
You're obviously very intelligent and articulate.
You are re-joining the human race after WAKING UP to the fact you grew up in a fantastical, utopian CULT inherited from your parents.
The snake of superstition lies at the foot of the babes cradle.
Take it easy on yourself and don't overreact or feel the need to do anything right now. Just keep reading and truth-seeking and soaking it all up like a sponge. Then let istsimmer and percolate in your mind. You're young, evidently; time is on your side. Go West young man!
Trust your own intelligence and critical thinking ability.
Just take it slow.
You're escaping an ILLUSION. Don't let waking up to nothing more than an illusion damage your great marriage.
Don't do anything to provoke anyone not the elders or your wife. Keep loving your wife and being very sensitive to her emotional needs right now. Don't push her buttons too hard ok. You are very fortunate she appears to love you very much and is cutting you some slack on this.
Take it easy, be wise.
Remember, it's a cult illusion. Just humour it. It's better to be happy than right sometimes.